Puget Sound Coaches Association

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April 8th Program Meeting

The Tale of Stone Soup· Applying an old metaphor to today's professional coaching organizations

There are many versions of an old folk tale called Stone Soup (sometimes Nail Soup). One version goes something like this...

Toleration

There was once a village that got along well enough despite the fact that no family was particularly wealthy. Each had enough clothing and shelter to keep themselves warm, but only just. While they rarely felt exactly toasty, no one froze to death either. They never really felt like they had enough but they got by. Each family also had enough food to eat, but only just. While they rarely filled their bellies, no one starved to death either. They never really felt like they had enough but they got by. And each had enough work to do and enough time to do it, but only just. While they rarely had fun, no one suffered from too much or too little work either. They never really felt like they had enough “work-life balance” but they got by.

Appreciation and passion

It was in this village that a ragged traveler found himself one day. Although his clothes were a bit tattered around the edges, he had warm socks and gloves and a hat that he carried with him along with an oiled canvas tent that kept away the rain. He had more than enough to keep himself warm and he was happy. This traveler worked his way from town to town, doing odd jobs that needed doing, earning enough to feed and clothe himself and still have enough time left over to pursue his real passion, playing his flute. On really good days, local villagers would come after their day's work was done to dance as he played his lively little tunes in the evenings. For this traveler, this was the perfect life and he was happy.

Scarcity Thinking

Upon reaching this particular village, however, the traveler found himself facing a bit of a challenge. The traveler was anxious to replace a shirt that was becoming too ragged to wear and so he knocked upon a villager's door looking to work in exchange for a newer shirt the villager might have to spare. While this approach had always worked in the past, the villager who answered the door said that he was sorry he could not spare any shirts just then as his family had just barely enough as it was and he closed the door.

At each house he tried, the traveler received the same response and so he went back to his campsite where he built himself a small fire to keep warm and prepared himself a small meal with the leftovers he'd brought with him from the previous village. Afterward, he played his flute to amuse himself and though no villagers heard and came to dance, he was still happy with his lot.

Breakdown

The next day, the traveler noticed that his stores were getting a bit low and so he thought perhaps he would try seeking work again as being hungry was a bit more of an issue for him than having a tattered shirt. As he went from door to door, the response at each home was the essentially the same as the message he'd received the day before: everyone he encountered told him that they had barely enough work to do themselves and while it sometimes felt like too much, they were concerned that if they gave away any of it to him, they would not have enough to feed and clothe and shelter their families. One by one, they each turned the traveler away.

Dreaming Big

That evening, the traveler went back to his campsite at the edge of town and prepared for himself the last of his food over his small campfire. While he amused himself alone with his flute-playing once more, the traveler thought and thought on how he might change his approach the next day so that he would not go hungry. As he played his flute, an idea occurred to him and when he tired of playing, he stoked his fire and wrapped himself in his slightly ragged blanket and fell to sleep with a smile upon his face.

Breakthrough

Early the next morning, the traveler eagerly awoke and began knocking on each door of the village. By early afternoon, he had reached every one and returned to his campsite alone with a large smile upon his face. The traveler was already anticipating the large feast that he would be enjoying that evening and the night full of rollicking entertainment ahead.

Identifying possibilities

You see, at each home that he visited, the traveler started by thanking the villager for allowing him to camp at the edge of town and that to express the extent of his gratitude, he would be hosting an evening of eating and drinking and entertainment such as they had not seen in recent history and that he would be ever so much grateful if the entire family would attend so that he could offer his thanks to each member in person.

Each and every villager accepted the traveler's invitation, and when they did, he said to each how glad he was they would be coming and expounded on how wonderful the evening was to be. “The preparations are all set,” the traveler said to the first villager; “and I have all I need to make the most marvelous stone soup using my very best soup stone I have carried with me during all of my travels. Bring a soup bowl and, if you have one, a spoon and expect a tummy full of sustaining stew like you've never had before in your life. Of course, if I had a carrot or two, it would be even better, I'm sure – though certainly you will enjoy it exactly as I have always prepared it in the past.”

New Uses for Old Tools

While it was true that the traveler had carried this stone for a long time, this would be the first that it was to be used to prepare soup. This particular stone was nothing more than the one the traveler had found long ago in his journeying and had kept all this while simply because it worked so well to hammer into the ground the stakes for his tent. In fact, except for how well it fit in his hand, there was nothing at all magical about this stone that would enable it to be the main ingredient in soup. The traveler had a plan however, and the villager had no way of knowing the true role this “magical” stone.

The traveler's confidence was enough to convince the villager of his ability to prepare a sumptuous meal from what otherwise appeared to be nothing more than a stake-pounding stone. The villager's faith in the traveler's confidence turned out to be well-founded and it paid off well for everyone in the village.

On hearing that such a wonderful feast could be made even better, the villager jumped up and ran off, finding not just “a carrot or two” but an entire bunch of carrots to bring to the traveler. By themselves, the villager explained, they did not make much of a meal, but added to what the traveler was already preparing, they might be of some use and so it went with everyone the traveler encountered that day.

Small Steps

On hearing the anticipated wonders of the evening's stone soup, the next villager similarly found a bunch of celery and the next after that realized he had some onions to spare for this amazing soup made with nothing but a stone. Another came up with some extra herbs he was certain would make the hearty stone soup even better, another some precious salt, and one even came up with a soup bone he'd been thinking of giving to his dog. A couple of villagers remembered old dried loaves of bread that the traveler said would be ideal for soaking up delicious stone soup and a couple found some extra cheeses perfect for frying up to serve with the crusted bread and the magical-sounding soup.

Building Momentum

The contributions kept coming thusly, well beyond what the traveler had imagined earlier for everyone with his first idea for a hearty soup. One farmer asked about some apples he had that were too unattractive to eat and the traveler was happy to accept these; on seeing the apples, the village baker offered to turn them into pies as the crust was an easy thing to offer when the filling was right there before him. Even those villagers who thought they had nothing at all to contribute came up with something to give when they heard all that their neighbors had offered already. A turnip or two here, a ladle for serving the stew there – there was even a handful of flowers to decorate the ever-expanding spread, making it as beautiful to look upon as it was to smell and to taste.

One by one, each and every household contributed something small until the traveler's bag was full and he began wondering how he would manage to cook up such a marvelously savory stew for so many people in the small cook-pot that he carried with him from town to town. The very next house did not have even a single vegetable to spare or any other ingredient that could help make the dinner better but they did have a kettle, the largest in the village. It was so large, in fact, that it could contain enough water and all of the ingredients for the traveler's stone soup together to be able to feed the entire village and still have enough left over for seconds and even thirds if it came to that. On hearing how marvelous the feast was shaping up to be, the villager willingly agreed to allow the traveler to use the kettle for the night.

Achieving the Goal

That evening, the villagers and their families began arriving to the traveler's campsite for the stone soup feast accompanied by many other fixings. One by one, their mouths began to water as their noses smelled the delicious stew cooking and their eyes saw a beautiful and sizable spread of bread, cheeses and pies to go along with. One villager's daughter, on seeing all of the people coming for the expansive meal, felt slightly embarrassed for the traveler because he was still wearing the ragged shirt he had tried so hard to replace only a couple of days before. She quickly ran back home and returned with an old shirt that her father no longer wore and the traveler was glad to have it.

Celebrating Success

Later, after all had had their fill of the savory stew, the traveler picked up his flute and began to play. One villager's son turned over his empty soup bowl and, with his spoon, began to tap out a rhythm in time to the traveler's melody. One by one, villagers began to sway with the music and a few even stood up and began to dance when another began to call the steps. The traveler smiled as he played his tune and the villagers smiled as they danced the night away. All were happy beyond their wildest imaginations and even after the traveler left town with a less ragged shirt, a full tummy, and a light heart, the villagers continued to look for ways to pool their resources and create better lives for themselves and each other from that day forward.

Adapted from the traditional folk tale by Kimm Viebrock, PSCA President 2005-2006, 2006-2007

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